A Physical Dimension to Interruptions

Another interruption!

I was in the middle of writing some HTML/Javascript code for Lisa’s Christmas website when the phone rang. I answered and did my best to be polite and pay attention but I was aware the whole time that my mind was in a fog. I’m not going to say who it was or what they wanted because that is completely irrelevant. What is relevant is that this is the first time I’ve really paid attention to what was going on with me physically.

Some background: for a long time, I’ve been explosively angry when I was interrupted in the middle of something. I’ve done a pretty good job of  not just yelling into the phone, but I’ve done all sorts of other things:

  • after hanging up, I would sit and stare at the phone, waiting for the next interruption
  • I would not go back to what I was doing, I would just sit back and cross my arms and stare. What was the point of starting up when I was just going to get interrupted again?
  • at least once, I’ve thrown the phone (gently – I’m too aware of price to lose control completely) across the room and talked to it in very harsh terms

I’m aware that this is not uncommon among us ADD folks – at various intensities, of course. But today was the first time I really noticed the physical sensation.

It isn’t anger at all. It’s more like disorientation.

I was in a state of flow and I was yanked out of it. And I’m keenly aware that when I get started back up again, it won’t be “where I left off”, it’s going to be “part 2”. And that is never the same.

It was an actual physical sensation. A slight bit of dizziness, like walking out into the sun after being in the dark for a while. Or sitting up after laying down too long. I felt it in my head and I felt it in my stomach. It was unpleasant. I can see why I don’t want to experience that feeling often. I can also see why it makes me angry. But anger is a secondary response not a primary response.

Downstream, there are other considerations:

  • the ramp up time to get started again
  • things that might have been percolating in the back of my mind that are now lost
  • the pressure to handle whatever the call was about

And, on top of those, the guilt about feeling angry at the poor innocent person who had the nerve to interrupt me while I was working on something

There are a lot of levels to this, but I’m hoping that the realization that it isn’t really anger will help me handle it next time around.

I wonder how soon that will be…?

Advertisements

Share Your Story – lazy, stupid or crazy?

I’m working on a longer performance piece about Adult ADD and I’d like to ask you to share your stories. It’s important that we do that. We learn from each other than we aren’t the only ones who have messy desks or get mad at interruptions or feel we haven’t really done anything with our lives. Also, it can give our partners, friends, and the public insight into the adult side of ADD. We are dealing with different issues than kids or teens.

In this section, I’m asking this: have you even felt “am I lazy, stupid, or crazy?” This comes up a lot in the literature. “What’s wrong with me?” Can you relate? Have you felt this? Tell me your story.

To add your story, just click the word balloon above and to the right of this entry.

You can do it anonymously if you like, though I’d prefer to have your information so I can do follow up. If I end up using your story in a performance, it’ll be anonymous, so don’t worry about that!

 Thanks!

Share Your Story – miscellaneous

I’m working on a longer performance piece about Adult ADD and I’d like to ask you to share your stories. It’s important that we do that. We learn from each other than we aren’t the only ones who have messy desks or get mad at interruptions or feel we haven’t really done anything with our lives. Also, it can give our partners, friends, and the public insight into the adult side of ADD. We are dealing with different issues than kids or teens.

In this section, I’d love to hear your stories about ADD in any category I didn’t mention below (and even if I did!)

To add your story, just click the word balloon above and to the right of this entry.

You can do it anonymously if you like, though I’d prefer to have your information so I can do follow up. If I end up using your story in a performance, it’ll be anonymous, so don’t worry about that!

 Thanks!

Share Your Story – friends and family

I’m working on a longer performance piece about Adult ADD and I’d like to ask you to share your stories. It’s important that we do that. We learn from each other than we aren’t the only ones who have messy desks or get mad at interruptions or feel we haven’t really done anything with our lives. Also, it can give our partners, friends, and the public insight into the adult side of ADD. We are dealing with different issues than kids or teens.

In this section, I’m asking for your stories about friends and family. How did they react to your diagnosis? Support? Denial? “Ah, so that’s what’s up with you!!!” Do you have a story you can share? 

To add your story, just click the word balloon above and to the right of this entry.

You can do it anonymously if you like, though I’d prefer to have your information so I can do follow up. If I end up using your story in a performance, it’ll be anonymous, so don’t worry about that!

 Thanks!

Share Your Story – low self-esteem

I’m working on a longer performance piece about Adult ADD and I’d like to ask you to share your stories. It’s important that we do that. We learn from each other than we aren’t the only ones who have messy desks or get mad at interruptions or feel we haven’t really done anything with our lives. Also, it can give our partners, friends, and the public insight into the adult side of ADD. We are dealing with different issues than kids or teens.

In this section, I’m asking for your stories about low self-esteem. Maybe that’s not the exact work for it. Maybe you’re successful, but feel like a fake? I’ve accomplished a lot in my life, but I don’t feel like it. I don’t focus on the 10 things I accomplished today, I focus on the 1000 that didn’t get done. I remember sitting in a counselor’s office, whining to her about how there was no point my writing skits since nobody would ever perform them. She reminded me that one of mine was being done by a church group that very weekend. That was a clue that something was wrong. I was living in a negative fantasy while outside, my life was going pretty darn well. Do you have a similar story? Do you enjoy your accomplishments or do they evaporate in the face of your failures? Do you let yourself make mistakes and learn from them without beating yourself up? Tell me your story.

To add your story, just click the word balloon above and to the right of this entry.

You can do it anonymously if you like, though I’d prefer to have your information so I can do follow up. If I end up using your story in a performance, it’ll be anonymous, so don’t worry about that!

 Thanks!

Share Your Story – hypersexual?

I’m working on a longer performance piece about Adult ADD and I’d like to ask you to share your stories. It’s important that we do that. We learn from each other than we aren’t the only ones who have messy desks or get mad at interruptions or feel we haven’t really done anything with our lives. Also, it can give our partners, friends, and the public insight into the adult side of ADD. We are dealing with different issues than kids or teens.

In this section, I’m asking you to talk about something that is very difficult to talk about. Nobody talks about sexuality in polite company, but I’ve been fascinated by the work of Dr. Rory Reid (http://www.rory.net/pubs.htm).  He headed up a group that was/is working on the connection between hypersexual disorder and ADHD. According to his research: “approximately 23-27% of hypersexual men also meet diagnostic criteria for adult ADHD”.

How has ADD affected your sex life? Your relationships? Your own sense of yourself as a sexual being? Do you have stories about that? Do you think there is a connection? Or is he way off?

To add your story, just click the word balloon above and to the right of this entry. 

You can do it anonymously if you like, though I’d prefer to have your information so I can do follow up. If I end up using your story in a performance, it’ll be anonymous, so don’t worry about that!

 Thanks!

Share Your Story – which talent to use??!!

I’m working on a longer performance piece about Adult ADD and I’d like to ask you to share your stories. It’s important that we do that. We learn from each other than we aren’t the only ones who have messy desks or get mad at interruptions or feel we haven’t really done anything with our lives. Also, it can give our partners, friends, and the public insight into the adult side of ADD. We are dealing with different issues than kids or teens.

In this section, I’m asking for your stories about being too talented. Let’s face it, ADD-types show a high correlation to creativity – to the point some people see ADD as a gift, not a challenge. Picasso, Edison, Mariette Hartley, Benjamin Franklin, Emily Dickenson, etc. etc. What if you excel at (or at least want to try) everything! How do you choose? Write or invent or paint or dance or… the list goes on. Do you have stories about that? Or something similar? If not, let me know that this idea is way off base. Or at least badly worded!

To add your story, just click the word balloon above and to the right of this entry. 

You can do it anonymously if you like, though I’d prefer to have your information so I can do follow up. If I end up using your story in a performance, it’ll be anonymous, so don’t worry about that!

 Thanks!